When I was three, I threw a baseball off the Earth, and the next year, I was hoping we would hit it and it would cause a big crater. I was so young and naive, then, in the ways of orbital mechanics.
Silly me. Little did I know that it had never achieved escape velocity, and it ended up killing a donkey in Tijuana about a week after I'd thrown it up. I guess the performer was po'd at the loss of her income.
– From “What The New Years Means to Me”, by Dan Reams (shopping a publisher)