Advice I Sent to My Madison, WI. Sister on her Birthday
Top10 Ways for a Madisonian To Celebrate Her Birthday
10 – Picket a Wal-Mart
9 – Secretly visit a Wal-Mart, in the middle of the night, when you think no one you know will be there. Save numerous dollars.
8 – People-watch on State Street and remember fondly back.
7 – People-watch on State Street and remember that you used to be stoned, just like them, and lament at how, now that you’re not, everything is much clearer.
6 – Eat a burrito as big as your head. Wonder if they have lasers, at the door, that measure your head.
5 – Buy fresh vegetables.
4 – Remark how nice the bus system is, even though you never utilize it yourself.
3 – Recycle something. Forget that it will likely end up in a landfill anyway, but at least it will travel there in a green truck.
2 – Organize a car-pool to help the environment. After a couple days of people not showing up on time, farts in enclosed spaces, and personality clashes, return to driving solo.
1 – Look at the doorknobs in the state capitol building. They say ‘Wisconsin’ on them.